||[30 Sep 2007|09:56pm]
I feel like this incredibly horrible person. I mean, do I really come off as a bitch most of the time? Do I really sound like this hateful, arrogant, snob who rubs people the wrong way?
That's completely not who I am. It bothers me that so much of what I say is taken the wrong way. I *almost* pride myself on being an honest person; I tend to tell it like it is. But what if I'm wrong? What if it's not like it is? Or like I think it is? Am I really that terrible for saying "This is who I've become, I'm sorry for who I am?" or "This is MY experience, so I know better than you the possibilities"? (That last one sounds horrible, doesn't it?)
I think I need to get away from mormons & my exmormon communities for a while. It's not healthy for me to always be reading about it, or to be attacked and told that I'm this kind of person when I'm really not. It only serves to bring up old resentments, bad memories, and it just really stunts my healing/overcoming.
I don't like being misunderstood. I try to make myself as clear as possible, to an extent that makes me comfortable. I just need a breather. Maybe I can post again in the near future, but my being around this stuff isn't helping me anymore; it's doing more harm than good. I'm getting pissy again.
Peace out, to all. Hope your journeys are long, short, or whatever you want them to be.