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Help for my son [25 Aug 2007|11:20pm]
I have a 20 yr old son who I am very concerned about. Not even two months ago, he started dating a Mormon girl. He met her the same week he was moving out of the house to his own apartment for the first time. This girl lives with her parents only a few miles from his apartment - we're about a 40 minute drive. He started to spend a lot of time there, and very quickly, they started to have missionaries and elders talk to him.

Meanwhile, his relationship with the girl has gotten stronger. A few weeks ago, we were invited over to the parents for dinner. It was then that they learned that I am seminary educated and work full time in a Christian church as a Christian educator, and that I have a masters in biblical interpretation. From there, it was all downhill. I have not been able to see my son alone since then. The two times since then that he's come to the house, the girl's mother came with him. I asked him to come with me to pick his sister up from college, and I get a call that he can't, but the mother will go instead. I've asked him to come home for dinner, he tells me he's busy, and I find he's at their house instead. Even when I call, the mother is listening in on our conversations, and she's talked to him on her phone when I'm there and she shields the phone and turns her back from me. In other words, a very close and wonderful relationship that I've had with my son has been gutted by this woman. She refers to herself as his 'other mother'. She is very slick and manipulative - I find myself manipulated by her, and I'm old enough and educated enough to know better - she's good! And since she's found out my training and education, I have not had one chance to talk one on one in person with my son without her physically there. If he needs something at the house, and says he's coming for it, she's the one that will show up at the door to get it instead. If she knows I'm coming (and I have to tell my son, so we can meet up) she's there.

I've tried to talk to my son about this and he says I'm paranoid and jealous and that I'm concerning him with my behavior - being overly demanding. I have never been accused of this before in my relationship with him. And today, he told me - after just 7 weeks - that he's planning on proposing on Thanksgiving.

So what's going on? Is this typical? How can I get past these people to my son again? How can I stop him from making the mistake of his lifetime? (don't get me wrong - I actually like the girl in question, but I am dead sure that if he goes ahead with this, her family will do everything they can to destroy the relationship I have with him.)
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