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sabbath frustrations@$#& [22 Aug 2007|12:35pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

I live about 50 miles away from my family, so I usually don't see them much except for birthdays/holidays. My little brother just had his 13th birthday a couple weeks ago and I told him I would take him back-to-school clothes shopping and help him pick things out. Well, considering it's a 100 mile round trip and I am currently driving a pickup truck that only gets something like 14 mpg, I was trying to figure out a time I could take him when I would already be down there for something else and wouldn't have to blow half a tank of gas on an extra trip. Well, my sister is having a "going back to BYU" farewell dinner on Sunday that I promised I would come to. So I thought I would try and kill two birds with one stone. 

Should've known that wouldn't fly.

When I asked my mom if I could take my brother clothes shopping on a (gasp!) Sunday after my sister's farewell dinner, she shot me down right away, even though she knows I am inactive/ not a believer and my little brother wouldn't be spending money or sinning on the Sabbath, I would. I haven't been able to spend one on one time with my brother in almost a year, and I find it ironic that a religion so focused on "family" causes so much tension and division within the family. If anything, it separates the family. Saturdays and Sundays are my only free days during the week, and my parents' schedule is usually full on Saturdays, and my brothers and sisters are always working or doing some church activity or hanging out with friends on Saturday. Sunday is THE ONLY FREE DAY. And I'm told I'll need to "find a better time, you know we can't do anything on Sunday." What about MY schedule? Obviously it's not important.

Why can't you go do any kind of bonding activity on Sunday as a family? (Besides picnics and observing nature. Seriously.) I thought family came first and church came second?

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Mountain Meadows Massacre [22 Aug 2007|04:52pm]
The latest issue of the Ensign magazine (September 2007) has a large article about the Mountain Meadows Massacre. I did not have the guts to finish it, but the beginning seemed much more honest than what I expected. Of course they will white wash as much as possible, but at least they are dealing with it. When I joined the church in 1975 this subject was a taboo and any explanations from the church were 100% lies. I guess that's progress.

Reading it one would like to remind the faithful that all the leaders mentioned there were supposedly "God chosen and guided" just like today's leaders, and some of them were "prophets of God, seers and revelators" to whom God supposedly talked a few times per day.

It also occurred to me that Brigham Young was just as effective leader for the Saints as George W. Bush is today for the nation.

One wants to puke.
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lashings of uncertainty with a side of bewilderment [22 Aug 2007|07:23pm]
[ mood | disappointed ]

Hello All. I've just joined the community. Basically I've been LDS since I was six and active since I was thirteen. Now that's all changing, but this realisation is all pretty new. A lot of people have described having bad experiences and then leaving or finding out more. I was actually pretty happy at church, but now I feel less and less comfortable. (If you want to read how I came to the realisation that the 'restoration' didn't occur, etc, then it's on my LJ.) For a week or so I just felt sad all the time, but I seem to have moved past that now. I'm still a member and I will be for a while longer. After all these years, I need some time to sort things out and to say goodbye to whatever is eventually going to be left behind. 

After I read the information (Book of Abraham, View of the Hebrews) I sent the link to a close friend of mine, telling him that the information was the first 'anti-mormon' thing I had ever read that made logical sense to me or really troubled me (most of it is so vitriolic or obviously out of context that it's pretty easy to dismiss). I asked him to give me his opinion on the information. He simply never wrote back. 

What is significant about this is that this is a person I email from work almost every day, about anything and everything. We have exchanged email on other subjects since that one was sent. Over the last decade I have discussed more theories and points of church doctrine with him than with any other person, and I have always valued his objectivity and logic. He sent me (amongst others) an email yesterday about some new pamphlet the church has released. I took the opportunity to comment that I hadn't had a reply to my question and to ask if this was an indication that this was something he didn't want to talk about. So far no reply. 

Ironically this has come at a time when I'm starting to really connect with people in my ward after a long settling-in period. It makes me wonder who I'll still be socialising with in six months. If I can't predict the responses of one of my closest friends, then it really isn't possible to guess anything about  my near (church) future with any certainty.  

#Cross-posted in one other community.#

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