Just got off the phone with my sister and a baffling story involving the LDS (aka Mormon) church. Um, Wow.
So, my sister has been inactive/non-Mormon for what... 10 years or so? As have I, really, but the local ward has never really bothered me about it like they have her. For the last 10 years despite telling them not to, and leaving a note on the door that reads "No Soliciting, That means you missionaries, step off" or something along those lines, the ward has persisted in sending her visiting teachers, cookies, calendars, etc and so on. To the point where her husband was losing sleep because he worked odd hours and they'd come by and wake him up. She's told them to go away through the door, on the phone, it's just been ridiculous.
It's practically Dr. Suess's Green Eggs & Ham. "I do not want visits, Elder-dear, I do not want them in the morning. I do not want them in the evening. I do not want them at my house. I do not want them from a mouse. I do not want them here or there! I would not like them anywhere! I do not want to be saved or vexed! Now go away before you're hexed*!" More or less.
So, this has been going on for a long while. They try to hassle my Mom and brother too, but they always pretend they're not home and never answer the phone or door. My sister's hubby cannot help but answer the phone or door. We don't know why, he just has to. So, the other night, he answered a late evening knock at the door and who should be standing there but the local ward's Bishop! :o He asks for my sister by her maiden name, and anytime anyone does that they're turned away as having the wrong place, but he insisted and so my sister in her jammies comes over to talk to him with her arms folded and annoyance vibes radiating off of her. She said her body language was pretty much anything but inviting, though she was trying really hard to be polite. The Bishops voice was quavery and basically, he'd come by with papers for her to sign in order to leave the church! Essentially, the only way they felt they could stop harassing her would be for her to officially exit the church. She'd been meaning to do it anyway, but for the Bishop to come and hand deliver the papers to do it? Wtf?
He goes on to explain the "consequences" of exiting the church, etc and so on, and my sis didn't really care and just took the papers from him and signed them. He was obviously really intimidated by her, and tried to make conversation observing that they are moving, and was told that no he would not be getting the forwarding address. She was asked, of course, why she was leaving and she didn't say all the reasons she was thinking out of politeness for the older guy, and basically said she wasn't comfortable with the cultish mentality (I believe, trying to remember what she said there).
We're all pretty baffled by the whole thing, I mean I've pretty much been left alone and sent in my own resignation of my own free will with the help of http://mormonnomore.com/ and we've also learned that at least in these parts, Teh Ghey (tm) scares the hell out of them and they won't touch us with an 11ft pole. They won't more than disfellowship Karen in hopes that she comes around (one of the Elders said he had a vision of her marrying a man in the Temple), but they don't send visiting teachers or anything because I assume they're afraid of catching Teh Ghey. I only bothered to leave because it made me feel better. I didn't even realize how much freer I'd feel until after I was off the books, but I felt dishonest being on them when I was oh so very not Mormon. But to have the Bishop show up and say "Sign these, please, so we don't feel obligated to harass you" is just... wow. I mean, that's basically what he said. I don't believe that would hold up in court. Is this a special Colorado Springs issue or what? Cause out in Phoenix, they give up a LOT more easily. Maybe it's just the particular wards, but yeash.
*No, I don't believe my sis considers herself to be Wiccan, but she is certainly a redheaded witchy woman! ;)
X-posted to exmormon